Baby Harry
by happy2
Summary: When James and Lily leave for a well-deserved vacation, baby Harry is left under the care of our two favourite canines (Moony and Padfoot, duh!).
1. Sleepy Parents

Welcome! This is my second fanfiction! This just sort of came to me as I was baby-sitting for this one-year-old kid and I just HAD to put it up here so I can get your opinions! I hope you enjoy the first chapter and the others to follow. Thank you!  
  
Giggles-n-shit  
  
*~*~*  
  
James Potter kicked the door open to his honeymoon suite, carrying his bride traditionally over the threshold. It was a bit hard considering the bulkiness of the dress, but James and his wife; Lily Evans (now known as Lily Potter) had been waiting for this moment ever since he had proposed to her. She giggled lightheartedly as he tossed her on to the bed and he made a weird, growling noise.  
  
"You're lucky I love you so much. If someone else had made that sound, I would've been ultimately turned off," Lily said, smiling.  
  
"Oh well…like you said, you love me too much." He leaned over her and gave her a warm kiss on the lips. "And I love you too," he said. So, like a typical, newlywed couple, James and Lily spent that first night in sheer bliss.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Just think, it had been two years later since the night you had been reading about previously, and a cry echoed throughout the halls of a local hospital.  
  
"I AM NEVER GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU…EVER AGAIN!" it said. In this hospital, which was virtually deserted, Lily sits upon a hospital bed, ready to give birth. She is in pain, like all mothers are when they're about to go into labour. Yes, our favourite couple, James and Lily Potter are about to welcome their first born child into the world. Of course, Lily wasn't seeing things from the optimistic view at the moment. As she gave about three straining pushes, a baby's wail throbbed against the ears of the anticipating parents.  
  
"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Potter!" exclaimed the doctor. "You have a healthy, baby boy!"  
  
The pain Lily had been experiencing earlier instantaneously washed away as she caught sight of her darling son. A tuft of little black hair was already visible, no doubt inherited from his father, and vivid green eyes sparkled curiously at them.  
  
"Omigosh, he's beautiful!" Lily cried, tears of joy brimming her eyes. James was utterly speechless…he just stared wonderingly at his first born son. "What should his name be?" Lily asked, as the baby grasped on to her finger. James ran a hand through his son's hair and couldn't help but smile.  
  
"He looks like a Harry to me," he said proudly. Lily chuckled and looked down upon her son, who was sleeping peacefully in her arms.  
  
"Harry it is. Welcome to the world, Harry Potter," she whispered. And after a long, loving kiss from her husband, Lily too, fell into a deep slumber.  
  
*~*~*  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
Sirius Black, a dear friend of the Potters knocked against the wooden door to their ordinary flat. Putting his ear up against the door to see what was taking so long, he heard nothing, but a rather hassled Lily soon swept the door open. She had bags underneath her eyes, a towel thrown over her shoulder and a baby bottle full of milk clasped in her hand. Her eyes brightened ever so slightly at the sight of a friend…or maybe it was the sight of another adult.  
  
"Sirius! How great it is to see you!" she said, engulfing him into a small hug. She stepped aside to let him in and he was rather surprised at the hectic state the house was in. He removed his leather jacket and hung it up on the closet, and placed his biker's helmet on the table.  
  
"Whoa! What happened here? Lils, ever hear of house cleaning?" he questioned. Lily shook her head.  
  
"I know, I know! The house is a mess…but I never have time to do anything else lately." She sighed, and leaned her head against the wall. "Clean…how about sleep? I haven't been getting any decent shut-eye in the last three months!" She closed her eyes, and Sirius wondered if she had fallen asleep on the spot.  
  
"So…where's Prongs?" he asked, trying to make conversation, nevertheless keep Lily awake. Lily was jerked out of her sleeping state and she looked around frantically.  
  
"James? Oh…he's in the living room," she said. She yawned widely and made her way to the living room, Sirius following close behind. The vision that greeted them was heartwarming. James lied on the couch in the regular-sized living room, with a three-month-old baby boy perched on top of him.  
  
"And how's the little bundle of joy?" Sirius queried…maybe a bit too loudly because --  
  
"No, Sirius! You have to whisper when Harry's sleeping!" Lily whispered, frenzied. Too late though…  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Sirius stuck his two fingers into his ears, disbelieved at the enormous amount of noise that came out of a being so small. James, of course, was awoken right away. He immediately picked up his son and started rocking him back and forth, and then he caught sight of Sirius.  
  
"I dare say you didn't bother to whisper around a sleeping baby, Padfoot?" he asked. Lily took the baby from her husband's clutches and began feeding him a bottle. It shushed him up, for the meantime.  
  
"Sorry…Lily didn't warn me," he said apologetically.  
  
"Only because I thought you'd perform the obvious!" Lily retorted. She blinked several times, then gave a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm just a bit edgy from the lack of sleep," she said. She resumed rocking Harry in her arms.  
  
"It's alright," Sirius said brightly. He eyed James up and down and noticed that he too, looked stressed. His usual, messy black hair was tousled worse than ever and he had similar bags under his eyes than to Lily's. He stretched and yawned widely.  
  
"So, what brings you here, Padfoot?" he said, stifling his huge yawn to no avail. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"I didn't get to see Harry right when he was born, and I AM the godfather, aren't I?" he said, raising his eyebrows up and down.  
  
"No doubt," James said. Lily was leaning her head back against the couch as Harry sucked contentedly from the bottle. James flopped down onto a seat next to her and he leaned his head back too. Both had their eyes closed, and Sirius wondered if they had fallen asleep. From the snore that escaped from James, yes.  
  
"Uh, guys?" he called. The picture was rather cute, two frazzled parents sleeping in sitting position side-by-side with their baby boy slowly making his way back to dreamland through a milk bottle. "Guys…" Sirius tried again. He walked over to the sleeping couple and prodded James, but still, he was out like a light. Harry began to squirm, now that his bottle was finished, and his face was scrunching up ready for a --  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Sirius said, as he seized the infant from his mother's grasp. Sirius didn't really have a lot of experience with children…but he knew how to hold him and how you had to support their head. He picked Harry up, and the contorted baby face was back to normal. "Wow…you're going to grow up and look like your father!" Sirius exclaimed. Harry's face broke into a smile, which lit up his entire, pudgy face. "Whoa! You have eyes exactly like Lily's!" The baby smiled once again and gave a big yawn, much like his parents had. "You must be tired too," Sirius said. "Keeping your folks up like that…must be a full-time job!" Harry snuggled up to Sirius and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.  
  
The sound of faint knocking came upon the door, so Sirius laid Harry down in his bassinet and went to answer the door. Standing there on the other side, was another dear friend of the Potters and of Sirius, Remus Lupin. "Moony, how you been?" Sirius asked, letting Remus in.  
  
"Sirius? Where's James and Lily?" Remus asked, looking around the house.  
  
"Knocked out on the couch," Sirius explained, gesturing to the living room. "That kid hasn't given them any decent rest."  
  
"Awww…poor things," Remus said as he chortled at his friends' tiredness. He looked into the bassinet and spotted the root of their sleeping troubles. "This must be Harry James Potter!" he exclaimed. "Geez…he's gonna be a deadringer for James…although there's no mistaking Lily's eyes." Just then, Lily was jerked awake by instinct or whatever.  
  
"Omigosh, I'm SO sorry, Sirius! I must have dozed off…Remus?" she questioned, looking at Remus unbelievingly. James turned over from his current position and muttered something about 'Burgers and fries and hotdogs'. "Oy, James!" Lily said, poking him.  
  
"Huh? Wha?" he asked, as he shot up, staring around. "Moony?"  
  
"Hey, Prongs! Lily!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
"When did you get here?"  
  
"A few minutes earlier."  
  
"Where's Harry?" Lily said, shrilly, as if realizing that her son was missing.  
  
"Don't worry! He's here in the bassinet," Sirius said reassuringly.  
  
"You mean, you actually got him to sleep?" James asked, looking at Sirius inquisitively.  
  
"How? He hardly gets to sleep with US…let alone someone he hasn't met!" Lily claimed.  
  
"Guess I got a knack with kids," Sirius said, wiping his nails upon his shirt. Remus snickered at the idea. "What?" Sirius asked, taken aback by his friend's reaction.  
  
"You? A knack with kids? You hardly spend your time with kids," Remus pointed out. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Is it my fault that kids don't happen to be found in any of the pubs?" he queried.  
  
"Come on, would you like something to drink?" Lily offered, standing up and walking to the kitchen.  
  
"Sure," Sirius and Remus chorused. Along with James, they made their way to the kitchen too.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Thank you for reading the first installment. If you enjoyed it, please come back for the other chapters. Posting may vary on the amount of homework I receive from my teacher that night, so please be patient. Also, drop a few encouraging words! Review and Luvs,  
  
Giggles-n-shit 


	2. Uncles Padfoot and Moony

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello readers! I am truly sorry for not updating my story as much as I would like to…but you try explaining to your teacher that Fanfiction is much better than Canadian History (yuck…my least favourite subject). So, all in all, school work and social life has been in the way of my Fanfiction writing. No worries though, for this is the new installment of my story! Enjoy, and if you don't like, then don't read it…simple as that!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own ANYTHING (except maybe for the stuff that you don't recognize from the books)  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Lily, you sure you don't need any help with the tea?" Remus asked, as he watched Lily stagger about helplessly.  
  
"N-no…I'm fine," she said reassuringly. If only her words spoke for her actions…  
  
CRASH! * tinkle tinkle *  
  
"Er--maybe I will need a little help…" she said. Remus walked over and magicked the remnants of the mug into the garbage pail. After the tea was finally brewed properly, the four friends sat around at the Potters' kitchen table, sipping their drinks. James and Lily were silent, and seemed to be drooping off into sleep again. Lily had her head down on her arms, and James' head was balanced on his arm, which was propped up on the table. Both had their eyes glazed over.  
  
"Have you guys gotten ANY sleep at all?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded, showing his interest in the answer to the question. Lily gave a small snort.  
  
"Sleep? What's that?" she answered sarcastically.  
  
"No really," Remus prompted, his hazel eyes showing true concern.  
  
"Not really, Moony," James replied as he set his empty mug on the table. "Harry hasn't given us much of a chance to rest. He needs supervision twenty-four seven!" he exclaimed. He sighed and ran a hand through his rumpled hair. "Coffee has become a close friend of mine."  
  
Suddenly, Sirius was struck with an idea. You could almost see the light bulb click on over his head. "Hey! What if you and Lily take a vacation?" he suggested. James and Lily studied him for a moment, as if thinking that he had truly gone through the roof.  
  
"What? Just so we can not get any sleep in a different location?" Lily questioned. She and James broke into laughter.  
  
"You've got to be kidding! We can't go anywhere with Harry--"  
  
"Who said you have to bring Harry?" Sirius inquired, finally coming to the point of his idea.  
  
"Leave Harry?" Lily began. She was looking a little worried, but James was looking thoughtful.  
  
"That's not a bad idea," James thought aloud. Lily glared at him murderously.  
  
"And who, Mr. Potter, is going to take care of Harry?" she asked scathingly. Sirius bobbed up and down in his seat childish-like but James and Lily did not notice.  
  
"I'm sure we can summon a baby-sitter, MRS. Potter!" James said indignantly. "We really need this vacation!"  
  
"Back to my first question…who?" James and Lily bickered back and forth upon the subject until Remus cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. Sirius was still bobbing up and down, trying to get a hold of James and Lily's attention (yet failing miserably).  
  
"Ahem!" They all turned to stare at him, James and Lily now standing up looking as though they'd throttle the other. "I believe, Sirius and I would be glad to take care of Harry." He paused for effect, but he was soon greeted by something unexpected…the laughter of James and Lily.  
  
"You guys?" Lily gasped, nearly choking for air. She was leaning against the refrigerator for support, and James was practically rolling around the floor in laughter.  
  
"I love you guys as brothers and everything," he said, "but you? With my son? That's ridiculous!"  
  
"Why's that?!" Sirius asked, a bit irritated.  
  
"Well…I guess it's because…it's you," Lily explained. Sirius and Remus stared hard at their so-called friends.  
  
"Don't you trust us?" Remus questioned. He had a sincere look in his eye, so James and Lily ceased their peals of laughter.  
  
"Of course we trust you…but--"  
  
"But?"  
  
"But…well…um…er…"  
  
"Well put, Prongs!" Sirius said, his voice oozing with sarcasm. "If you guys don't have a real reason…why don't you just let us take care of Harry so you can go on a second honeymoon or whatever you want to call it." He waited patiently for their answer. James and Lily gazed skeptically at each other, unsure of what to say. They DID need this vacation…but this was Sirius and Remus you were talking about! That's half of the Marauders that caused havoc at Hogwarts! It was enough that one quarter was the father…  
  
Finally, James looked at his two best friends after reaching a tacit agreement with his wife. "Fine…you can take care of Harry."  
  
*~*~*  
  
A week from that day, James and Lily were rushing about the house frantically. They were trying to pack all their things so they can depart as soon as possible and give last minute instructions to Sirius and Remus. Harry was sitting in his play pen, watching the adults zoom by him.  
  
"And finally, at eight o'clock sharp at night, Harry takes his last bottle. His next feeding won't come until probably three…or whenever he wakes up crying," Lily explained.  
  
"Don't forget to tell them about the mobile!" James said as he dashed up the stairs, a pair of his pants thrown over his shoulder.  
  
"Oh yeah…Harry has this thing with the Quidditch mobile in his room. It plays a lullaby for him, and that's pretty much all that will get him to sleep," Lily said. "It's found over top his crib and the wind key is right in the back."  
  
"Okay…Quidditch mobile in nursery," Remus recited. Sirius was looking puzzled.  
  
"Wait…what did you say about Quidditch?" he asked. Lily sighed exasperatedly and pulled a sheet of parchment, which had to be at least three feet long. "Lils…History of Magic was due years ago!" Sirius joked.  
  
"Ha ha, Sirius," she said. "This isn't History of Magic…this is instructions on taking care of Harry!" She handed the list to an awestruck Remus. "I divided the list into sections…food…changing…nap…and miscellaneous!" Lily then went into a detailed rant on the list and reviewed everything she had already told them. "There! That's it, really!" she said.  
  
"That's it, huh?" Sirius muttered, low enough so Lily hadn't heard him.  
  
"Okay, everything's packed!" announced James has he glided down the steps. "See ya, sport!" he said as he kissed the top of his son's head. Harry gurgled happily.  
  
"Oooh, I'm going to miss you, Harry!" Lily gushed as she picked him up and hugged him tight. "Don't worry, mummy will be back soon…now you be good for uncles Padfoot and Moony, alright?" She was answered with another cheerful goo. "Be good!" she said, but this time she was saying it to Sirius and Remus.  
  
"Yeah, guys," James said. "This is my son you're looking after!" They said their goodbyes, and after another session of saying farewell to Harry (Lily was on the verge of tears now…it WAS her first time leaving him), the two of them Apparated to their destination.  
  
"Ah! The Potter household is ours to rule!" Sirius said as he flopped on to the couch. He then sniffed the air and caught a whiff of something quite…erm…stinky. He looked up at Remus, who must of noticed it too, because he was plugging his nose.  
  
"I'm not doing it!" Sirius exclaimed, using his shirt to shield his nose.  
  
"Well…don't look at me!" Remus cried. The both of them backed away slowly from the play pen, while Harry seemed to laugh hysterically at their antics.  
  
"I'll flip you a coin for it!" Sirius called, yanking a knut from his pocket.  
  
"We can't flip a coin on who's going to ch--HEADS!" he yelled, for Sirius had already threw the coin into the air.  
  
"And the winner is--er--TAILS!" he said.  
  
"Liar! That was Heads! You're cheating! Give me that knut!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Oh…this is stupid…fine! Rock, paper, scissors."  
  
"Rock, paper, what?" 


	3. Changing, Dinner and Bathtime!

Author's Note: Thanks so much for the encouraging reviews I am receiving. Once again, I must apologize for my lateness in releasing the next chapter. I hope you enjoy this one though!  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Eurgh…I can't believe it! From someone so small, too!" Remus said, as he scrunched up his face and threw the diaper in the wastebasket. "What are they feeding you?" he asked. Harry giggled once again. "Oh gosh…now I have to wipe you?" Holding a face of disgust, Remus wiped Harry's bottom. When he was nice and clean, Remus had another task to tackle. "How in the world does your mother wrap you in this?" he asked no one in particular as he held up a clean, disposable diaper. Just then, Sirius shuffled into the nursery.  
  
"Is it safe?" he questioned, his shirt still shielding his nose. Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"If you're talking about Harry being clean, then yes. Other than that, do you know how to use this?" He held up the diaper to show Sirius, who just shrugged (his nose uncovered by his shirt) in reply. "Well, we can't have Harry wander around with no diaper on!"  
  
"Then just put a pair of trousers on him," Sirius suggested. Remus glared at him.  
  
"Hell-o! And what, exactly, is going to catch the unforgettable poop?"  
  
"You have a point there. I just thought Harry should get a feel of the none-underwear world! It's fabulous you know--"  
  
"Please, do NOT tell me about the days where you have walked around underwear-less!" Remus shivered in thought. "I've already seen Harry's poo…"  
  
"Fine, if you want Harry to wear a diaper so much, just do it the way Prongs and Lily do it."  
  
"Problem there, genius, I don't WATCH Prongs or Lily do it!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
Remus was slowly losing his patience (in case you couldn't tell), because not only was Harry still diaper-less, but Sirius pretty much had the intelligence of a seven-year-old when it came to situations like this. "The heck with it! I'll figure it out!" Remus began to unwrap the sticky parts that clung to the diaper and slipped it underneath Harry. Surprisingly, after a few strenuous minutes, he was finished. "Presto! You're done!" Harry babbled senselessly, his green eyes shining in innocence.  
  
"You know…he's kind of cute when he isn't stinking up the whole place," Sirius said.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sirius was holding Harry in his lap, while Remus conjured up a decent dinner (never trust Sirius around stoves…a lesson he had learned the hard way). He was showing Harry pictures of racing brooms, and giving a little comment here and there.  
  
"This one is the Silver Arrow…very old, but a definite classic! This broom is sure to be in the Hall of Fame!" Harry pointed at the picture of the broomstick and made a little 'bah' noise that Sirius took as a show of interest. "Yep! I remember when my father took me on a ride on one of these things--"  
  
"Sirius, bring Harry in here! Dinner's ready!" called Remus from the kitchen.  
  
"Well, time to risk our lives and get a taste of ol' Moony's cooking!" Sirius said to Harry, as he proceeded to the kitchen. When he entered, he placed Harry in the highchair and eyed the partially burned food on the table, suspiciously.  
  
"Well? What do you think?" Remus asked.  
  
"Um…you're not actually going to feed Harry THAT are you?" Sirius asked. "He's still young--"  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot! I know I'm not the best cook! Anyway, Lily left some milk bottles that we just need to heat up."  
  
"Oh…then that's good then. We wouldn't want to explain to Prongs and Lily that their son died because of your cooking," Sirius teased.  
  
"Do you not know when to shut up?" Remus questioned, scowling. "Warm up Harry's dinner…I'm going to go wash up." Remus exited the kitchen and Sirius fished out a milk bottle from the fridge.  
  
"So, Harry, what do you feel like eating tonight? How does MILK sound? Mm- mmm!" Sirius then popped the milk bottle into the microwave. "Now…what do all these buttons do?"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Remus was in the bathroom, thoroughly washing his hands. He was trying to make chicken for them to eat…but somehow the food turned out all black and gooey (don't ask ME how it turned all gooey). On a brighter side, babysitting with Sirius wasn't all bad. It was nice to have someone to leave in the kitchen to wash up--  
  
"Oh my lord!" Remus then rushed out of the bathroom, down to the kitchen where he could here Harry shrieking in either delight or terror…and loud spraying noises. He kicked himself mentally. "You dolt! You just left SIRIUS in a KITCHEN alone with a BABY!" So naturally, the sight that greeted Remus was one of chaos.  
  
Harry was in his highchair, clapping his hands and screaming in delight because he thought that Uncle Padfoot was trying to be funny as he used his wand to put out a fire.  
  
"SIRIUS! WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED HERE? I ASK YOU TO WARM UP HARRY'S MILK AND I COME TO FIND THE KITCHEN ON FIRE!!!??" Remus bellowed.  
  
"Sorry! I didn't know how to use one of these micro-thingy-majigs!" Sirius explained. He let one last spout of water fly from his wand, finally extinguishing the fire. "Geez…no need to pull a heartstring, Moony! No harm done!" Sirius said breezily. Remus would say otherwise, seeing as his left eye was twitching. The part of the kitchen where the microwave had been contrasted against the neat whiteness of the rest of the kitchen--because it was black.  
  
Muttering incoherent phrases under his breath, Remus pulled out his wand and the black portion of the kitchen returned to its normal state. "Did you at least get Harry's dinner?" Remus asked, rubbing his temples.  
  
"Uh…no. I think I put the micro-thingy on too high, because the plastic bottle melted along with the rubber nipple. That's when the thing caught on fire," Sirius explained.  
  
So…that's why, if we were to waltz into the Potter's kitchen that very day, we would've found Sirius and Remus coaxing Harry to eat Remus' cooking…blended into a mush, since Harry didn't have any teeth and a microwave missing from the many Muggle kitchen appliances.  
  
*~*~*  
  
After dinner, Remus left Sirius to clean up the kitchen ("Use your WAND! I don't want you playing around with the Muggle devices they've got here!" Remus ordered him sternly) while he played with Harry. Remus just decided to read a story from one of the books on the bookshelf while he waited for Sirius to finish.  
  
When Sirius finished, he wandered into the living room and pouted. "I'm bored," he claimed. "I know!" he said brightly all of a sudden. "I'm going to give Harry a bath!" Before Remus could intervene, Sirius grabbed Harry by the middle and carried him up the stairs to the bathroom. When Remus finally caught up with them, he could already hear the bathtub water running.  
  
"Moony, you can do whatever you feel like…I'm sure I can manage giving a baby a bath," Sirius said. Remus laughed contemptuously.  
  
"Yeah right…I'm not leaving you alone with Harry ever again! I thought you could manage warming up a bottle of milk!" Shockingly though, Sirius manage to remove Harry's clothing and place him in the smaller bathtub (made especially for babies) without any life-threatening consequences. Sirius placed a few toys in the tub, so Harry could have a little fun in the water, as he lathered his black hair with baby shampoo. One of the toys that Sirius handed Harry was a little plastic pail.  
  
"You see, Moony? I can give Harry a bath without--" Sirius found himself sputtering, because Harry had so cleverly found the use of using the pail to pour water all over his godfather. Remus chortled, trying to retain the laughter slowly building up inside of him. "Ah…that's alright! After all, he's only a little tyke--" Sirius sputtered again, and Harry twittered in an adorable way because he had succeeded in getting his godfather sopping wet once again.  
  
Remus couldn't restrain himself. He burst out laughing. "Hahahahaha! You should've seen your face, Padfoo--" Remus soon found himself sputtering as well…but not because HARRY had dunked a pail of water over him. He rubbed the water out of his eyes and found himself staring at Padfoot who was feigning innocence by hiding the pail behind his back and whistling a jaunty tune.  
  
"Fine…I know when to shut up," Remus said. So the two of them, cleaned up a bathed Harry and slipped him into his pajamas. They laid him down in his crib.  
  
"Well…at least one of us is dry," Sirius remarked. "How long has it been?" Remus looked down at his wristwatch and gave a heavy sigh.  
  
"It's been five hours since Prongs and Lily left…only sixty-seven hours to go!"  
  
"Whoop-ee…" Sirius said unenthusiastically, weakly pumping his fist into the air. 


	4. Broken Mobile and More

Sirius and Remus stared blankly at Harry, who was staring back at them inquisitively, in the crib. A few silent moments passed all three of them just staring at each other. Finally, Sirius was the one to break the silence.  
  
"Why isn't he sleeping?" he whined, sounding very much like a three- year-old. Remus scratched his head in thought.  
  
"I don't know…" he said. He looked down at Harry, who seemed to be looking at his two uncles expectantly. Remus roved his eyes upward and caught sight of the Quidditch mobile hanging overtop of Harry's crib. "Of course!" he exclaimed.  
  
Sirius had followed his gaze and his eyes too fell upon the mobile. "Ooh! Let me wind it! I've never used one of these Muggle toy things!" he said delightedly.  
  
"Uh…Padfoot, I don't think that's such a good--"  
  
"Don't be such a worrywart, Moony! I can do this…now which way do I turn it?"  
  
With a deafening CRACK and a repetitive tune…Remus' left eye was twitching once again.  
  
"Er--well…you see, that could've happened to anyone!" Sirius said hurriedly, as he saw a vein begin to throb in Remus' temple. "At least I got the song to play!!!" Sirius looked down into the crib and saw Harry, slowly drifting off into a deep slumber. "See? He's falling asleep!" Remus, too, looked down at the infant, and his breathing stabled.  
  
"I guess you're right…that crack probably wasn't anything anyway…at least you got the thing to work," he said.  
  
"I told you! Moony, you've got to learn to trust me!" Sirius said happily.  
  
*~*SIX HOURS LATER*~*  
  
It was two o'clock in the morning, and the mobile was still playing its very, very, very, very annoying tune…over, and over, and over, and over again.  
  
"How do you turn the damn thing off?" Sirius said, covering his ears with his hands. "That song is getting on my nerves!" Remus was covering his ears as well.  
  
"I don't know how to turn it off! This is your entire fault! YOU'RE the one who broke the wind key!"  
  
"What? I did no such thing!"  
  
"Speak for yourself! 'I'm Sirius, and I'm a dunderhead because I broke the wind key on Harry's annoying little Quidditch mobile…thus making it play the same song over and over again--'"  
  
"Shut up, Moony!" Sirius hollered.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Look what you did, smarty pants!"  
  
"What I DID? I didn't do anything! It's you're fault! You're the one who's mocking me--"  
  
"Oh shove it--"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
*~*~*  
  
"James…do you think Sirius and Remus are doing fine with the Harry?" Lily asked, as she rocked in James' embrace, dancing to the sweet melody of Natalie Cole.  
  
"I'm sure they're doing fine! Padfoot and Moony are great with kids!" James reassured her.  
  
"If you say so…" she replied.  
  
*~*~*  
  
--the Quiddtich mobile tune is STILL playing--  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" wailed Harry.  
  
"Harry! Please! Be quiet…Harry!" Sirius was positively pleading. "We NEED sleep!"  
  
"Try feeding him a bottle…and THIS time, warm it up with your wand!" called Remus from the nursery, where he was attempting to shut the music off somehow. Sirius did as he was told, and Harry started sucking satisfyingly. From the other room, Sirius heard bangs and whacks.  
  
"Moony! What are you doing?" he asked. He then strained his ears…stunned at the sudden tranquility. "Hey! You got the thing to shut up!" he said. Meanwhile, in the nursery, Remus was shoving shards of the music box engine that was attached to the mobile into the garbage.  
  
"Er--yeah! I did…that's all solved then!" he answered.  
  
"Good…Harry is just about asleep."  
  
Ultimately, Sirius, Remus and Harry got their rest…for the night being…  
  
*~*~*  
  
Remus shot up in bed. He had slept in the Potter's guestroom, while Sirius stayed in the other guestroom across the hall. Remus was about to wonder what had woken him up, when the answer to his question was answered by the blaring music coming from the kitchen.  
  
"Don't stop 'til you get enough…uh-huh…come on!" he heard Sirius singing (in case you don't know…that's Michael Jackson's song…Chris Tucker sang it in Rush Hour 2--I don't know if that song was out in 1980…forgive me if it wasn't). Remus groaned, the last thing he needed was for Sirius to wake up Harry with his defective singing. Lazily, he heaved himself out of bed and trooped downstairs.  
  
What he saw made him smile widely. Harry didn't wake up wailing because of Sirius' singing…in fact, he was right there in Sirius' arms! Sirius, unbeknownst to Remus' arrival, was swinging Harry to the beat of the music. Remus coughed to get his attention.  
  
"Oh hey, Moony!" Sirius said brightly. "Little Harry here was awake when I went to go check on him! Here, I made some waffles," he said, shoving a plate of golden coloured waffles towards Remus. Remus raised his eyebrows questioningly.  
  
"How do YOU know how to cook?" he asked. It was quite unbelievable, considering even Remus couldn't bake a fowl.  
  
"I found a magical cook book! Isn't it great? Now we can have suitable meals!"  
  
"Bah!" Harry cried. Remus beamed.  
  
"At least things are finally starting to smooth out," he thought gingerly. He was about to shove a mouthful of Sirius' magical waffles into his mouth when something mushy came flying his way, landing with a splat on his face. Wiping it off with his napkin, Remus looked at the head of the table to see Harry sitting in his highchair, green eyes gleaming mischievously. Sirius could be heard trying to muffle his gasps of laughter.  
  
"Harry," Remus began softly, "you shouldn't throw your mashed bananas on to other people's faces--" Remus sputtered, much like he had done during Harry's bath time. Harry squealed delightedly, and Sirius had at last broke out into booming laughs. "Harry," Remus said still gently, but with a bit of an edge in his voice. "It's not nice to throw your food in other people's faces." Harry simply stared up faultlessly.  
  
"Hahahahaha! Way to go Harry!" Sirius said. SPLAT! More shrieks of pleasure coming from the Potter infant. Remus now found himself fighting the urge to laugh.  
  
"This Harry has a good arm you know. I never knew he'd be able to reach the banana mush from here to there," he said, pointing to where Sirius was standing which was at least three feet away from Harry. Sirius grumbled, upset that his time to laugh at Remus was backfired by Harry having to throw food at him too.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sirius stared longingly out the window, at the driveway where his beloved motorcycle was parked. The weather was just perfect for riding! Autumn weather was always the best…a gentle wind, enough to whip through your hair with a hint of the upcoming winter. Sirius sighed heavily.  
  
"Something wrong, Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking up from the little game he had made up to play with Harry (shooting harmless sparks out of his wand amazed Harry thoroughly).  
  
"I just want to ride my motorbike…" Sirius faltered. "It's been so long!"  
  
"Long?!" Remus said incredulously. "Padfoot, it's been only a day since you've ridden that thing."  
  
"I know, but…well…" Suddenly, a light bulb clicked on once again over Sirius head. "Hey…" he began slyly. "Why don't we take Harry on a little ride?" Remus distinctly paled, and he dropped his wand, which sent a fresh shower of violet sparks.  
  
"Wh--what?" he stuttered. "You can't be serious! What if you dropped him?"  
  
"Why would I drop him? You've already seen that I can handle giving him a bath and bringing him downstairs into the kitchen."  
  
"Yes, but I've also seen you set the kitchen on fire all because you were warming up a bottle of milk!"  
  
"Come on, Moony! Just this once! Who knows? Harry might never have a chance to ride on my motorcycle again!" Sirius stuck out his lower lip, very immaturely. Remus crossed his arms over his chest and peered over at Harry. Somehow, for a three-month-old baby, he seemed very alert to his surroundings. His lower lip was out in a pout very similar to Sirius'…as if he knew that he was being refused something so great. Seeing this, Remus' heart softened and he heaved a sigh that Sirius immediately took as a yes.  
  
"Yes! I'll take good care of him, Moony! You'll see! I'll give him all the protection he needs!" 


	5. Flying With Padfoot

Well, Sirius kept his word in offering the best protection for Harry's safety. When Remus entered the nursery, where Sirius was dressing Harry, he had to stifle a gasp of surprise and laughter. Sirius was pulling bulky sweaters over Harry's head.  
  
"This is going to keep you nice and warm," he told Harry as he pulled a third one over his head.  
  
"Er--you better watch it, Padfoot. That many sweaters could suffocate him," Remus pointed out sagely.  
  
"I just want to keep him safe is all. It's pretty cold for a little guy like him!" Sirius grinned cheekily down at Harry, whose arms were sticking straight out because of all the sweaters. Sirius proceeded in dressing Harry by putting a pair of woolen socks on his feet, and placing cotton trousers over his diaper. "There!" Sirius said proudly, as he took a step back to admire his work in dressing babies. Harry could hardly move, his legs were spread far apart because of the diaper AND the pants…and his arms were now on a straight angle. Sirius didn't think that was wrong. "It's perfect!"  
  
Remus was about to contradict this, but didn't have the chance because Sirius was zooming down the stairs; Harry clasped by his side. Sighing exasperatedly, Remus chased after them. You can never be sure with Sirius around fragile things. When he reached the living room, where the two of them have gone, Sirius was conjuring a miniature biker's helmet. "Good idea, Padfoot," Remus said approvingly.  
  
"I know," Sirius replied. He slipped the helmet on to Harry's head. Harry moved his head side to side, bewildered at the sudden weight to his head and sudden change in vision. "Now we're ready!" Sirius strapped himself up in his leather jacket, buckled up his boots and placed on his helmet too.  
  
"Come Harry," Sirius beckoned, picking him up. "See, Moony? I can manage kids! Piece of cake--" CRASH. Apparently, while trying to boast about his accomplishment with babies, Sirius knocked over a vase of flowers.  
  
"I'm coming with you!" Remus said quickly. If Sirius could cause damage on earth…who knows what he'll be like up in the atmosphere?  
  
"But there won't be any space left on the bike once I make a baby seat for Harry," Sirius explained. Thinking fast, Remus caught sight of a broom in the kitchen.  
  
"Er--I'll ride my broom behind you! Accio broom!" One of James' brooms came zooming into Remus' outstretched hand. Sirius eyed him.  
  
"You don't trust me do you," he said gravely.  
  
"It's not that!" Remus cried. "I--er--I just wanted to go flying too!" Sirius looked at him quizzically again, but bought the lie.  
  
"Okay!" he said brightly. The three of them marched out of the house, towards the driveway where Sirius' gleaming motorcycle stood.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Alrighty! Harry, you stay in this seat right here, otherwise you'll go plummeting to your very own death," Sirius said cheerfully. Harry clapped his hands in joy. Remus was shaking in fear, all for the sake of Harry. "You ready, Moony?" Sirius asked, as he boarded the bike.  
  
"Nungh…" Remus replied, unsure about the whole thing. "Look, Padfoot…maybe this isn't such a good--" VROOM! Too late, Sirius turned on the engine and was just about to kick off. There was no way he was going to hear Remus' rebuttals to taking Harry out for a ride. Speeding down the street at an alarming rate, Remus watched in anxiety. "They're going to crash…oh no, oh no…they're going to crash!" his mind shouted at him. Miraculously, Sirius kicked into the air peacefully, the motorcycle gliding as if it were light as a feather.  
  
Remus let out a breath that he had been holding. Much more lighthearted, he mounted the broom and kicked off. He sped towards the speck in the sky that signaled Sirius' bike. He caught up to them easily, because Sirius was going nice and slow.  
  
"Beautiful, ain't it?" Sirius asked Harry, looking down at the picturesque landscape. Harry pointed downwards to the scene gurgling incoherently. A soft swooping noise announced Remus' arrival on the broomstick.  
  
"How's it going?" he asked. He looked at Harry who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. He still looked rather odd, because it was a miniature person wearing a biker's helmet and his arms sticking straight out. But Remus chuckled at seeing his friend's son having fun. The three of them just glided over the land peacefully. It was very relaxing.  
  
But all good things must come to an end. With a whine and a wheeze, the engine to Sirius' bike died, then turned back on, then died again. Sirius looked around apprehensively, as the engine sputtered weakly. "Er--" he started, staring in Remus' direction.  
  
"Oh god, Padfoot! What happened?" Remus said, raving.  
  
"Looks like, I…um…sort of didn't get my bike checked when I was supposed to," Sirius said.  
  
"Hurry, give Harry to me, then you can climb onto the broom."  
  
"What about my bike? I'm not just going to let it fall to its very doom!" Sirius whined.  
  
"There are more important things to worry about right now, Sirius!" Remus yelled, not even bothering to use Sirius' nickname. "Now, give Harry to me!" Grumbling, Sirius handed Harry over to Remus. "Get on!" Remus urged. The engine seemed to be dying down.  
  
"But…but Moony! I've spent Galleons on this thing! I can't just abandon it," Sirius said sadly. Just then, the engine went back to full speed. "Hey! It's working again!" Sirius said, beaming.  
  
"I don't trust that thing, Sirius. Maybe we should just head back to the ground," Remus said worriedly. "I'll take Harry, just in case that bike goes out again." Diving down, Remus steered the broom one-handedly with Sirius following him.  
  
"Steady, Moony, steady," Remus thought to himself. The broom gave a slight jerk to the right, but Remus was able to stable it once again. "So you're not as good as Prongs on a broom…but you passed Flying Class…although there was the little incident of ramming into the school building--don't think about that!"  
  
"You alright there, Moony?" Sirius called out, because he noticed that Remus' broom was wiggling every which way.  
  
"Quite fine…" Remus said. Suddenly, his broom gave another defying lurch, which brought Remus to put both hands onto his broom. Unfortunately, that allowed him to drop Harry. "Oh FU--" A roar zoomed by Remus, signaling that Sirius was bolting by on his bike at full speed.  
  
"I got him!" he shouted out to Remus (who was covering his eyes in fright) while keeping his eye on the flying object that was Harry. With a scream, Harry landed softly in Sirius' outstretched arms. Sirius couldn't believe it, Harry was giggling! "Either you're as crazy as your mother…or you're one hell of a born-flyer like your father!" Harry smiled. "Oy Remus! I got him! You can look!"  
  
Remus lifted his head from his hands, and felt one big flood of relief wash over him. He flew his broom over to Sirius. "Omigod! Harry, I'm so sorry! Thank goodness you're safe!" The three of them went to the ground without fault, and Remus continued his stream of thanks and apologies. He took Harry out of Sirius' clutches and hugged him tightly. Sirius, meanwhile, was smirking to himself.  
  
"What are you laughing at, Padfoot? Harry just had a near death experience and you're laughing? What the hell is wrong with you?" Remus exclaimed, flushed with a bit of anger. Sirius just continued laughing.  
  
"Well, it's kind of ironic, isn't it?" he said. Remus cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"What is?" he questioned cautiously.  
  
"A while ago, you were fretting over ME dropping Harry. And now, YOU'RE the one who dropped him!" Sirius said this proudly, as if he were awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class. Remus glowered. "So…who's the one that can't care for babies and who is? Hah!"  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus said, frowning. He blasted the door to pieces with his wand as he entered. Sirius looked at the door warily and summoned the remnants to repair themselves.  
  
"I'll do just that!" he claimed, frightened of Remus' new wave of rage. Somehow, he thought he pushed it a bit too far.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Author's Note: Finally, huh? Yeah, I know it took me ages to get this chapter out, but cut me some slack! I'm moving! So, kind of expect big gaps between the chapters. If you would like me to e-mail you with updates, tell me so in your reviews (hint, hint). Thanks for the patience!  
  
Review and Luvs,  
  
Shits and Giggles 


	6. Forgiveness

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!  
  
That was all that could be heard in the Potter household that day…the irritating sound of the clock.  
  
"So, Moony, what would you like for lunch?" Sirius asked tentatively as he leafed through a Magical Cookbook. Remus did not respond. Instead, he chose to keep his face hid behind a storybook that he was reading under his breath to Harry. Sirius sighed in defeat. Remus was mad at him…and he couldn't change that. "Erm--I guess tuna casserole is okay?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Tuna casserole it is! And of course the usual milk for Harry." Sirius hummed as he read over what wand movements were required to make the tuna casserole. He kept on sliding side-glances at Remus, seeing if he showed any signs of forgiveness. None yet.  
  
"Casserole is ready!" Sirius said brightly. With a thump from Remus shutting the book, he and Harry entered the kitchen. Still in complete silence, Remus placed Harry on his high chair and pulled himself a seat. He began eating immediately. Sirius watched Remus eat and Harry suck on his bottle (the bottle being held up magically in thin air).  
  
"How is it?" Sirius asked, still attempting to make conversation.  
  
"Fine," Remus answered bluntly. Sirius grinned a bit…a word, yet curt, but still a word! He was getting somewhere. Sirius found it safe to start eating too.  
  
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!  
  
Lunch passed in complete reticence. No sound but of clanking forks onto plates, Harry's sucking and that infernal ticking! It was beating against the very core of Sirius' head. This was unbearable.  
  
"Moony! When are you going to forgive me? I didn't mean for the comment to sound like that…I was just…pointing something out."  
  
Remus grunted.  
  
"Moony…you're not being fair! After all, you WERE the one who doubted me in taking care of kids in the first place," Sirius said stubbornly.  
  
"Ah, Padfoot, I forgive you. I just find that your comment was extremely rude and unnecessary!" Remus got up, cleaned his plate with a swish of his wand, and strode into the living room where he turned on the television set. Sirius shifted his head guiltily, seeing Harry scrutinize him with his green eyes.  
  
"Stop it! It wasn't my fault!" Harry persisted in looking at him the same way. "Don't look at me like that! I'm reminded of Lily and the way she eyes me when I've done something wrong!" Harry's face broke into a smile. "You can smile like that…that reminds me of James when he approves of my mischief." Suddenly, Sirius smelled something really unpleasant.  
  
"Oh, damn." He looked over at Harry, who was still smiling smugly. "Better not bother Moony…I'll--gulp--change you." Sirius picked Harry up from his highchair and brought him up to the nursery.  
  
"Now…all I have to do is take this plastic-feely thing off." He undid the straps on the diaper. "Whoa, man! Geez, that's really unappetizing…ugh, ew!" Sirius plugged his nose with one hand as he continued his mission with the other. "Now I have to wipe you with these cloth things." He yanked ten wipes from the box and used it to wipe Harry. Seeing that one wipe wasn't enough, he grabbed another ten. After using about fifty wipes, Harry was respectably clean. "Okay…I guess I have to put this white stuff on you…*cough cough*" Powder was floating around the room, gathering in clumps on Sirius' shirt and hair. "Finally, I put another plastic-feely thing on you!"  
  
At long last, Harry was clean and fresh, wearing a new diaper. "I did it!" Sirius exclaimed. "I changed your diaper! I did it! I am a fully-skilled baby-sitter!" Harry giggled. "Yup! I am now the king of all kids!" He picked Harry up and started dancing around the room with him. "I can take care of babies! I can take care of babies!" he chanted.  
  
Unfortunately, Harry had just eaten, so all the moving around was making him queasy. So--  
  
"Argh! Aww…all over my shirt too! Thanks a lot Harry…"  
  
Harry laughed.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Remus was flipping through the channels. Nothing, not one interesting thing, was on TV. Switching the television off, Remus plopped down onto the sofa in a huff. The day hadn't been the best. It started with banana mush in his face, then with him dropping Harry a hundred feet in the air, now with him on non-speaking terms with Sirius. He really didn't want to be mad at Sirius, but Sirius had really pushed it this time. He had to learn to back off somehow.  
  
"Oh, Moony!" came a singsong voice from the hall. Remus inwardly groaned. He didn't really need Sirius at the moment. "Moony!" Sirius sang again. "Look what I did!" Those four simple words were enough for Remus to whip his head around, expecting to see a disaster before his very eyes. Instead, he was staring straight into Harry's green eyes.  
  
"Hello, Harry," Remus greeted him. Harry gurgled. Remus leaned his head over to look at Sirius puzzled. "What'd you want me to see? It's just Harry," he said dully.  
  
"I know it's just Harry! But look! I changed his diaper and his clothes!" Remus peered back at Harry. It was true; Harry was as clean as ever.  
  
"Wow…good job, Padfoot," Remus said. He was genuinely impressed. Sirius had been vastly improving on his skills with handling babies. Then, a nasty odor caught Remus' nose. "Eurgh! What's that smell?"  
  
Sirius looked sheepish. "Um…me."  
  
"You?" Remus sniffed the air. "Why would you smell of baby powder and--" he sniffed again "--sour milk?"  
  
"Let's just say that dancing around with Harry so short after a meal is a bad idea," Sirius answered. Remus was a little puzzled by the statement, but shrugged it away.  
  
"Sorry for holding a grudge, Padfoot. You're truly forgiven," Remus said. Sticking out his hand for Sirius to shake.  
  
"Really?" Sirius said, eyes sparkling. "I'd shake your hand, but I'm holding Harry right now…and I haven't washed my hands yet." Remus immediately withdrew his hand.  
  
"Right…thanks for the warning."  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Look, Harry! See? This is a dog!" Sirius said excitedly, as he shot a picture of a dog from his wand. Harry looked up at it curiously, waving his hand through the picture. As soon as he touched it, the picture faded away, much like a haze would. Harry smiled and squealed delightedly.  
  
"Oh yeah? See this one? This is a cat…can you say cat, Harry?" Remus said, shooting a picture of a cat from his wand. Harry responded with one of his signature "bah!'s".  
  
It was already eight o'clock in the evening. Sirius and Remus had spent the rest of the afternoon playing games with Harry. They even let him use Sirius' wand, but once he shot a lightening bolt from it, knocking over a candle holder, they decided to not let him use it furthermore.  
  
Harry gave a loud yawn, right when Sirius was showing him a picture of a star.  
  
"I think someone's tired," Remus said quietly.  
  
"Nah…I'm not tired, Moony. Why are you?" Sirius asked innocently. Remus stared at him.  
  
"Sirius, I was talking about Harry," he stated. Sirius blinked a few times, then nodded his head vigorously.  
  
"Oh right! I knew that!"  
  
Remus took Harry into his arms then brought him upstairs to the nursery, with Sirius in pursuit. Remus laid Harry down in his crib, waiting for him to drift off into dreamland. Sirius soon joined him by the crib, and it was much like the first night, the three of them just staring at each other.  
  
"Oh damn!" Remus said suddenly, slapping his forehead.  
  
"What happened? And why isn't Harry sleeping?"  
  
"Sirius! We broke the Quidditch mobile…and that's the only thing that lulls him to sleep!"  
  
"Quidditch? They have a mobile? A car? Where?" Sirius asked ecstatically.  
  
"No, you dolt! The Quidditch mobile!" Sirius stared at Remus blankly. "The little music box that you broke and it kept on repeating itself? I smashed it with a hammer last night so that it would stop playing!"  
  
"Ooh!" Sirius said in realization. "Ooh--oh no!" he said, soon figuring out the dilemma they were in. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Do you know how the tune went?"  
  
"Sort of…"  
  
"Well, put some words in there…and…and…sing him a lullaby!" Remus suggested triumphantly.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Author's Note: Ta ta! Tune in next time!  
  
Shits and Giggles 


	7. Singing a Lullaby

"I said to sing Harry a lullaby!" Remus said slowly, as if communicating with a mentally disabled person.

"I know what you said…it's just that…what?" Sirius cried. "Why me? You've heard me sing…I see the look of disgust on your face!"

"What look of disgust?" Remus asked innocently.

"Don't play naïve, Moony. How come you can't sing him to sleep? You sing loads better than I do!"

"That's for sure," Remus muttered under his breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch that," Sirius said sarcastically. "Since you're so confident that you can sing better than me, YOU be the one who sings the lullaby."

"Fine! Just help me out a bit…okay?"

"Whatever," Sirius said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Come on, oh Golden Voice. Sing your heart out!"

"Let me think, okay? Sheesh, I have to remember the tune!"

"It went like this." Sirius hummed the tune to Remus. Remus nodded.

"Okay, okay." Remus took a big breath and:

****

Baby, please, rest your head!

__

Now it is time for bed!

Remus stared at Sirius. "I thought you didn't want to sing!"

"I thought you wanted my help! Now do you still want it or not?"

"Fine, go ahead. You can sing every other line though."

"Agreed."

****

You're cuter than…

__

Uncle Ned!

Remus glared at Sirius again, who just shrugged.

****

You're our little…

__

Um…Quarterped?

Harry was still awake, looking at his uncles as if they were nuts.

"Padfoot, are you nuts? Quaterped? What were you thinking?" Remus said exasperatedly.

"It was the only thing that I can think of that rhymed on the spot!" Sirius argued. "Besides, it's kind of true isn't it? A four-legged creature…Harry can't walk on his two legs yet. He sort of crawls…"

"Omigosh, Padfoot. I'm going to restart."

Silence.

"I'm going to restart," Sirius mimicked Remus in a high-pitched voice. "Well, genius? What's your next verse?"

"It's hard to think under these circumstances!"

"What circumstances? We're in a bloody nursery with a baby, trying to think of a lullaby. Move aside, I've got a song!"

__

Twinkle, twinkle, how time flies

****

Slowly through, the starry skies

Sirius nodded in approvement at Remus' addition.

__

Baby, please, close your eyes

****

You're as sweet as…

__

Apple pies

****

As you grow, and love, and play

__

In our hearts, you'll always stay

****

So sleep and dream, the night away

Harry's eyes drooped closed, as Sirius and Remus continued humming the tune. Finally, he was fast asleep. Sirius and Remus tiptoed out of the room.

"We did it!" whispered Sirius triumphantly, as he did a little victory dance in the hallway.

"Shh!" Remus shushed. "I don't want to do that again!"

"I do! Let's go wake him up!" Sirius said playfully. Remus glowered. "I was only kidding, Moony. Lighten up!"

Remus yawned widely. "I'm exhausted…I think I'll turn in, too." Sirius followed suite in yawning.

"You're right. Night, Moony."

"Night, Padfoot."

And without changing, the two weary uncles plopped down onto their beds, falling asleep immediately.

*~*~*

Author's Note: Sorry this chapter was short. I just have a lot to do at the moment. Since I re-uploaded this chapter, might as well mention that the lullaby is from The Rugrats Movie…sorry for not saying so before! See you next chapter! =D

Shits and Giggles


	8. Trio at the Muggle Mall

Sirius woke up late into the afternoon. Usually, this would be acceptable, seeing as he regularly went to bed past midnight. But this time, he went to bed the same time as Harry, which was at like eight o'clock. Heaving himself out of the bed in the guestroom he was staying in, Sirius made his way downstairs, groggily. Remus was already sitting in the kitchen, with Harry in his highchair, drinking from his customary bottle of milk in the morning.  
  
"Morning, Moony," Sirius said, drowsily. Remus grunted into his bowl of cereal, to show that he his response. "Still tired too?" Sirius asked, as he waved his wand and milk and cereal was being magically poured into a bowl before him. Remus nodded. Suddenly, a clatter startled the two of them from their slumberous stupor, for Harry's bottle dropped to the floor. Harry started to cry.  
  
"Don't cry, Harry. Not this morning…I'm starting to get a migraine," Remus said in a supposedly comforting manner. He picked up his bottle and cast a charm on it so it would be held up for Harry to suck on. Remus continued gobbling his cereal. Breakfast passed in silence, because there was nothing that Sirius and Remus wanted to talk about at the moment. Then Harry crying again broke the tranquility.  
  
"His bottle is finished," Sirius pointed out. A wave of his wand sent the empty bottle flying to the kitchen, as a full one zoomed out of the refrigerator. Another wave of his wand made the milk a nice, warm temperature, perfect for babies to drink from. He sent the bottle to float in front of Harry's face, but Harry refused. "Moony!" Sirius whined. "He doesn't want it!"  
  
"He's probably just wet," Remus said. "I'll go change him…I'm done anyway." There was no response from Sirius. Remus turned around and was met with Sirius drooling on the table, snoring like there was no tomorrow. "Ew…Sirius!" Remus said. He conjured up a pillow underneath his head. He then picked up Harry and carried him to the nursery.  
  
Yawning widely, Remus undid the straps to Harry's diaper and threw it out in the disposal bin. He ducked under the changing table to fish out a new diaper for Harry to wear. "Alright, Harry. Here's your new diaper," Remus said as he came back up. Unexpectedly, a stream of…erm…urine hit Remus in the face. "ACK! Ew!" Harry giggled.  
  
Remus grabbed a tissue nearby and started wiping his face frantically. "Oh yuck, yuck, yuck!" He kept on saying. Harry just peered at him quizzically.  
  
"Huh? What? Where's the fire?" Sirius said as he came bolting into the nursery. "I heard you screaming here," he explained.  
  
"Ugh! Harry just peed all over my face!" Remus exclaimed loudly. Sirius' face broke into a large smile. Remus scowled. "Don't say anything, Padfoot! Just keep your witty remarks to yourself…I don't need it this morning!" Sirius just remained smiling stupidly, his shoulders slightly shaking from laughter. "Finish changing, Harry, I'm going to go wash my face." Remus exited the nursery, muttering under his breath.  
  
"Now don't go peeing all over me, Harry, alright?" Sirius said jokingly. Harry's face broke into a smile. In a few seconds time, Sirius wrapped the fresh diaper around Harry's bottom. "I'm getting to be quite a professional at this, huh Harry?" He picked Harry up and whisked him away to the living room. "Hmm…how do you work this telly-vision thing?" Sirius asked nobody in particular. He walked up to the TV and looked at the buttons. He soon found the 'Power' button and turned it on.  
  
"Hey! The people are moving! I always thought these Muggle contraptions were always dead still!" Sirius sat down on the couch, gleefully taking in the show The Brady Bunch.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Remus was wiping off his face with a towel after washing it at least three times. He changed into day clothes and made his way downstairs. He heard the booming sound of Sirius laughing really hard. "Ha ha ha! That Marcia!" he heard him say. Quirked, Remus joined Sirius in the living room.  
  
"Sirius? What are you doing?" he asked. Sirius looked up at him, face alight from laughing.  
  
"This is so funny! Marcia added too much laundry detergent into the washing machine-y thing, and now the whole place is covered in foam!" Sirius explained, giggling every now and then.  
  
"Are you watching The Brady Bunch?" Remus asked incredulously.  
  
"Is that what this is called? I need to get me one of these telly-visions!" Just at that time, a commercial came on.  
  
"Come on over, to England's most talked about shopping centre! Great for people of all ages! Open Monday to Saturday, 9am to 10 PM and up till 9pm on Sundays. So hurry on over for the time of your life!" After this announcement, pictures of the gigantic mall shown up everywhere on the TV screen. Sirius' eyes were gleaming.  
  
"We have to go there!" he said eagerly.  
  
"But, Sirius, that's a Muggle place. We can always go to Diagon Alley if you want to shop," Remus said matter-of-factly.  
  
"So what if it's a Muggle place? I don't care! Besides, I can make up for all the times I never paid attention in Muggle Studies by getting some hands-on experience! Come on, you'll be with me and you know tons about Muggles!"  
  
"I'm not an expert though! I only know basic stuff…stuff you would know if you did pay attention in Muggle Studies. And you won't be able to use magic."  
  
"Oh Moony, you're no fun. Let's just bring Harry, for an outing. Prongs and Lily are coming back tomorrow afternoon…"  
  
"Oh alright. Just don't get yourself into trouble!"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sirius climbed out of the car that they had rented (luckily, Remus learned how to drive after Lily kept on saying that it would be beneficial if he knew how). They had originally thought of taking a taxi, but Sirius, being the curious guy he was, kept on touching the buttons inside the taxi. The driver was getting terribly irritated as Sirius kept switching radio stations. He finally kicked both of them out, along with Harry, after Sirius restarted the meter, which stated how much they owed him.  
  
"You're lucky I had Muggle money," Remus grumbled as he switched the car off. Sirius paid no heed; he was staring up at the big mall in complete amazement. "Oy, Padfoot," Remus said, waving a hand in front of his face.  
  
"It's like seeing Hogwarts for the very first time," Sirius said dazedly. Remus sighed lightheartedly as he strapped Harry into his stroller. Taking Sirius by the arm, Remus led them up to the front. Inside were probably hundreds of stores for all sorts of Muggle things. Sirius was jumping up and down in anticipation.  
  
"Let's go get a telly-vision!" he said. Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"Sirius, you don't even have one pound on you!" he said.  
  
"A pound?"  
  
"Money…"  
  
"I have money!" Sirius pulled out a sachet filled with Galleons, Sickles and Knuts.  
  
"No…Muggle money!"  
  
"Aw, shoot!"  
  
"We're just here to look around and to give Harry a chance to go outside." Sirius muttered grouchily under his breath as if he were a child being refused of candy. Remus inwardly groaned, he felt like he was baby- sitting for two children. Suddenly, Sirius perked up.  
  
"Ooh! Look at these things! Oy, Remus! Look at these funny things!!!" Remus covered his face in disbelief, for Sirius was getting all worked up at little wind-up toys. This was going to be a looooooooooong day…  
  
*~*~*  
  
"That was fun, wasn't it Moony? I had lots of fun…did you have fun? I did! Hey, Harry, did you have fun? I did! I especially liked all the cool telly-phones they had at that eklectonic store--"  
  
"Electronic, Sirius…not eklectonic. I didn't like that part of the day though…those security guards didn't look too happy when they were talking to you. What did they say anyway?"  
  
"Oh, they just told me to stop harassing the shoppers. Hey, there's our car Moony! Come on!" Sirius sprinted to the car. Remus shook his head, embarrassed that he was friends with this maniac. He looked down at Harry who was fast asleep. Apparently, the day's events had exhausted him. Remus pulled out the key to the car and strapped Harry a baby seat in the back. Sirius climbed into the passenger seat while Remus clambered onto the driver's side. He started the car--  
  
"Oh no!" Sirius burst out all of a sudden.  
  
"What?" Remus queried.  
  
"You know that cashier I was flirting with at the eklectonic store?"  
  
"Sadly…" Remus said.  
  
"Well, I told her I'd go back and give her my number!" Sirius bolted out of the car in such a hurry, slamming the door. Remus did the same calling after him.  
  
"Sirius! I don't think she really expected you to go back! Besides…you don't even have a number!" Sirius whipped around and returned.  
  
"Oh yeah…you're right. Too bad though, that Muggle girl doesn't know what she's missing! Oh well, let's go home." The two of them made their way back to the car. Remus pulled the handle to open it, but his eyes widened in horror.  
  
"Oh shit…shit…shit!" he cried repeatedly.  
  
"What happened?" Sirius questioned.  
  
"The car! I locked the bloody car and Harry is still in there…with the engine running!!!"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Author's Note: Uh-oh! How are they going to get out of this now? The answer may seem obvious…but it's probably not what you're thinking. Sorry if this chapter was sort of pointless…but don't worry! I have another one being processed. Please come back =) don't abandon me now! Heh…see ya next chapter!  
  
Shits and Giggles 


	9. Scandal!

Remus was pacing back and forth between the car, cursing himself repeatedly. Sirius was just leaning casually against the car as if everything was perfect. Remus swept a hand through his hair, causing it to look as disheveled as James'. Sirius sighed impatiently.

"What are you so impatient about?" Remus asked angrily. "I don't see you helping me find a way to get Harry out!"

"Moony, why don't you just use the Alohomora spell? You know the one that unlocks locks? Including Muggle ones?" Sirius said offhandedly. Remus immediately rushed up to him, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Are you crazy, Padfoot? Don't talk about our world in the Muggle world! They don't know we exist! They're going to start suspecting something if you keep on blurting out about spells and enchantments!" Remus hissed at him. He freed Sirius' mouth from his hand. "I can't do the Alohomora spell because this place is swarming with Muggles." Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"Well then, I can't help you. I don't know anything about Muggles…I told you so before," he said. Remus groaned in aggravation.

"Argh! What are we going to do? It's…" - he glanced down at his watch - "seven o'clock, and this damn mall closes at nine since it's Sunday!"

"So, why don't we just wait until everyone leaves?" Sirius suggested. Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, but his glowering expression returned.

"And what, expect Harry to sleep soundly throughout those two hours straight? Expect the car to still be full of gas when the two hours are up? By the time every single person is gone, it's bound to be ten or even eleven o'clock at night." Remus continued his pacing, trying his hardest to think of a way to unlock the door. "Maybe if you shield me from view, I can perform the Alohomora spell and no one would be the wiser! How does that sound, Padfoot? Padfoot?"

Remus looked at where Sirius was standing, but he was gone. "Please don't tell me he Apparated out in the open!" Remus mumbled under his breath. "Sirius! SIRIUS, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" His voice seemed echo throughout the parking lot, as passersby stared in bewilderment and parents covered their children's ears from hearing such vulgarity. Remus smiled sheepishly in their direction.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Remus spotted the unmistakable gleam of Sirius' dark hair. He whipped around and saw him flirting with the cashier from the electronic store. "I don't believe this!" Remus thought to himself as he took large strides towards the two of them. Sirius turned around smiling, at Remus, even though his glare was enough to kill a herd of Hippogriffs.

"Hey, Remus! This is Jessica…the girl I met in the eklec…I mean e-lec-tro-nic store," Sirius said, enunciating each syllable in the word electronic.

"Hello, Remus, it's a pleasure," Jessica said politely. Remus' murderous glanced to a mere twitching in the left eye. However, he took Jessica's outstretched hand to show he had some manners.

"The same here, Jessica," he said, strained, as if he had to force the words out of his mouth. He then turned to face Sirius and beckoned him to go back to the car. "Come on, Sirius, we have some business to discuss." Remus tilted his head to the side to get his point across.

Unfortunately, Sirius being the thickheaded human he was, didn't get it right away. "Remus, what in the world are you talking about? What business?" Jessica was beginning to look at the two of them uneasily.

"I have to _talk_ to you!" Remus said, jerking his head to the side more vigorously.

"Talk? We always talk! Besides, you can talk here," Sirius said, puzzled. Remus shook his head in an irksome way.

"No! I _need_ you to _help_ me with _something_!" Remus near shouted. Sirius eyed him carefully.

"Remus, you sound like you're trying to get me alone or something--Moony, pal! Why didn't you tell me before?" Remus was beginning to twitch again.

"Tell you what?" he asked.

"I didn't know--do you _swing_ that way?" Sirius asked, showing true concern for his friend.

"Damn it, Sirius, I am not GAY!" Remus yelled. Once again, pedestrians looked at them in a perplexed fashion. Remus lowered his tone. "I need you to help me with Harry." Realization dawned upon our slow-witted friend.

"Oh! That, of course! Jessica, please excuse me--Jessica?" Sirius whirled around to find Jessica was standing where she was before. A bit farther away, you would have seen Jessica strut off in a huff, muttering things about weird men and strange homosexuals. "She's gone…" Sirius said wistfully.

"Whatever, she didn't like you anyway." Remus grabbed a hole of Sirius' arm and pulled him towards the car. Sirius shielded Remus from view, as they planned, and the car was unlocked mystically. Sirius was still grumbling on the way home.

"You made me lose a great find, Remus," Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest. Remus sighed, and just continued driving back to the Potter household.

*~*~*

"At least we don't have to sing that blasted lullaby," Sirius said crossly. He was still in a bad mood. Remus cautiously laid Harry down in his crib. The two of them were slowly making their way out of the nursery. "I still think it was your damn fault that I lost a date with Jessica," Sirius scowled.

"Good grief, Sirius, would you give it up already? Now shut up, before we _do _have to sing the blasted lullaby!" 

"Well so-rry!" Sirius said spitefully. "I'm going to bed!" 

"Fine!" Remus snapped.

"Fine!" Sirius snapped back. Then Remus did something that loosened the tension between them. He stuck out his tongue and blew, spraying spit all over. "Ew! Remus, what is wrong with you? We haven't done that since first year!" Sirius said, laughing a little bit, despite himself.

"I know!" Remus sang. "I just wanted to get you happy again." Remus walked into his guestroom and shut the door without another word.

*~*~*

The next day, the sun rose peacefully over the horizon. The early morning dew rested softly upon the green blades of grass. A soft, cooling breeze flowed through an open window, soon followed by a large tawny owl. It dropped the daily subscription of The Daily Prophet upon the kitchen table and soared majestically out of sight. At the same time, a Muggle newspaper was being dropped upon the doorstep.

"Aw, shit!"

Sorry to spoil the quaint morning scene, but these words were yelled out by none other then Remus. Our dear, beloved, Remus Lupin.

"Aw, shit!"

This time it was our grand friend, Sirius Black. The cause of their outbursts of anger were the headlines on the newspapers. The Muggle newspaper bore this headline in bold, black lettering:

****

TWO CARJACKERS SPOTTED IN MALL'S GRAND OPENING!

Then, a considerably large picture was shown of none other then Remus and Sirius was the previous day when they were secretly using the Alohomora spell upon the car. Indeed, it did look like that they were breaking into a car.

__

Although the grand opening of England's newest super mall is a time of sheer joy and fun among families, it cannot stop the turning cogs of a criminal's mastermind. These two men, looked to be upon their early twenties, was witnessed breaking into a white 1977 Volkswagen.

"Those two were harassing me! One of them was flirting endlessly with me. He seemed alright at first, but once his gay friend came about, I was sure something was up so I left! Their names are Sirius Black and I believe the other was Remus Lupine," stated a 23-year-old sales clerk at Electrons, a new electronic store at the super mall.

"The one with light sandy hair kept on using derogatory language when children were around!" quoted a 40-year-old mother.

So it seems, that no matter how much we try to bring happiness to the world, there is always a culprit among us. Unfortunately, the car was never tracked down, so police are unsure whether to send a search party out seeing as nobody reported a missing vehicle. If you have any information on the delinquents' whereabouts, please call your local police station.

"Prongs and Lily are going murder us when they find out!" Sirius said into his hands.

"It gets worse…" Remus said miserably. Sirius snatched the copy of The Daily Prophet, dreading what was to be said:

****

WIZARDS SEEN BREAKING INTO MUGGLE VEHICLE!

__

Although not many wizards and witches of our time know a lot about Muggles except for the basic facts we've learnt in Muggle Studies, it is clear that these two culprits were doing wrong right in the open Muggle world. The two criminals are believed to be Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, graduates of Hogwarts from almost four years ago. It is a shame, that one of our kind would do such a thing to innocent Muggles. 

"It is clearly an act of Dark Magic! They're working for You-Know-Who, I tell ya! You-Know-Who!" this is what an elderly man from Hogsmeade claimed, after being dragged away to St. Mungo's Hospital. We were unable to get his name.

The Department of Magical Law Enforcement is outraged. They refused to quote upon the subject, though sources say that the two will be questioned as soon as possible.

Sirius was pale by the time he finished reading the article. Just then a booming knock came from the door.

"Sirius Black, Remus Lupine! This is the police, open up!"


	10. Mending Things...The Best They Can

On instinct, the two of them ducked underneath the kitchen table. The pounding on the door continued more urgently. "Sirius Black, Remus Lupine, if you don't open this door, we will be forced to break it down!"

"The name is Lupin, idiot!" Remus spat at the door, offended. "Sirius, how in the world do they know that we're _here_?" Sirius grinned feebly.

"I sort of told Jessica where to reach me and--"

"_Jessica_?!" Remus screeched. Sirius cowered. Then, a cry was heard from upstairs. Harry had woken up. "Oh no! Harry's awake! If he doesn't shut up we'll be discovered!" Meanwhile, booming knocks were still heard along with demands.

"SIRIUS BLACK AND REMUS LUPINE! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! YOU HAVE UNTIL THE COUNT OF THREE! ONE--"

"Do the silencing curse," Sirius whispered hurriedly.

"I would, but that won't stop the Muggle law enforcers from breaking the door down," Remus explained, a tone of fear in his voice.

"TWO--"

"Well, do something Moony!"

"I can't think of anything! Why don't _you _do something? You're capable of thinking too!"

"THREE--" With a final shout, the door was kicked off its hinges, leaving the doorway open. "Alright, Sirius Black and Remus Lupine, come out with your hands up!" Then, an unfamiliar voice was heard.

"Stupefy!" Two dull thuds marked the collapsing of the limp policemen bodies. Feeling it safe to come out of hiding, Sirius and Remus stepped out from under the table hesitantly. An old, frail looking man was standing at the doorstep, perched atop the unconscious bodies.

"Who are you?" Remus asked courageously. 

"Why hello…you must be Remus Lupin, and your friend there must be Sirius Black," the old man said, unusually calm. Remus peered over at Sirius, who was clinging nervously to his shirt and wringing it. Remus turned to look at the old man again.

"Who are you?" he asked again.

"I represent the Ministry of Magic, you two are to be taken down to the Minister of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for questioning." Remus' knees buckled.

"Sir, we didn't do anything, I swear!" he said, panicking. Harry's cries were still coming from upstairs loud and clear.

"I'm sure of that," the old man said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. "You have just broken the code of Magical Concealment, so even if you didn't steal that Muggle contraption, you still have a fine to pay!"

"Magical Concealment? That's bull! The Muggles just think that we're a couple of crooks stealing a car, they didn't witness any magic!" Sirius shrieked, coming out from his momentary speechlessness.

"Yes, but wouldn't you rather that we modify all of the Muggles' memories than have you two running from their law enforcers for the rest of your life?" The old man's words hit Sirius and Remus stupidly in the face. "Now, come with me, and we can sort this all out," he said. 

"But, we're taking care of a friend's baby, we can't just leave it here," Remus said. The old man rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Fine then, you can bring it--"

"Him," Sirius said firmly.

"You can bring _him_ along, but don't expect _me _to baby-sit it when you're in for questioning." 

Under the hawk-like eyes of the old man (whom they haven't discovered the name of yet), Sirius and Remus gathered their belongings and Harry, and set off for the Ministry of Magic through a Muggle car that the old man drove. They reached London, to an enormous building right in the heart of the city. One might wonder what a building, holding such valuable secrets of the Magical world, was doing right in the center of a Muggle city. Well, the label on the building simply stated "Pipe Manufacturers", a building that Muggles would automatically avoid. But if, for any reason, a Muggle would wander into the Pipe Manufacturing Building, their thoughts would be altered and they'd find themselves bustling off to another building.

Following the old man, Sirius carrying the baby bag and Remus carrying Harry, they ventured into the vast hall of the Ministry of Magic. Walking through various corridors, they finally reached the wing of Magical Law Enforcement. The both of them were in awe at the powerful aura the whole place gave. Every corner you looked, there was always some sort of professional feeling radiating from it. The old man ordered Sirius and Remus to sit, and they sat obediently, hoping to avoid anymore trouble. Minutes passed, the clock ticking at the back of their minds, as excuses and explanations reeled within every part of their brain. Finally--

"Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, please go into this office to your right." They looked up and saw the secretary pointing to a door with a golden plaque, the words "Bartemius Crouch" engraved boldly upon it. Remus gulped hard, he heard of Bartemius Crouch…he was sometimes described as a restless maniac, never willing to give up on his hunt for wrong doers. The door swung open, and they were met with a curt man sitting behind his desk with his hands folded casually on it. The look in his eyes though, was nothing casual. All signs of madness, anger and rage swirled around it as his pupils darted back and forth between Sirius and Remus.

"Sit," he demanded, gesturing towards the black leather cushion chairs in front of his desk. Sirius and Remus stiffly settled themselves onto the chairs, both their hearts beating fast and quite painfully against their chest. "So…we have two criminals in our hands." He scrutinized them with his icy glare. Sirius and Remus recoiled in their seats. "It's really ironic how thoughtless you crooks are. The Ministry already has enough issues to deal with considering reports of missing people and murders all under the name Voldemort…but you crooks don't care. You want to make us Ministry workers lose sleep, dealing with mere acts of crime. Well, don't think I'm going to go easy on you! I have half a mind to turn you into Azkaban and order the same output those damn Death Eaters receive!"

Sirius and Remus were shocked speechless. This Crouch character was insane! Fortunately, they were interrupted from their thoughts from the door banging open by a middle-aged, bustling man. He carried a briefcase with him, but his air wasn't as professional and powerful as Crouch's. Crouch looked up, disturbed. He sighed. "Cornelius, what do you want?"

"I just came here to tell you that the Minister of Magical Concealment has found a solution to the problem without sentencing these men to…Azkaban, as you have so graciously offered," Cornelius said, dropping a hint of sarcasm at the end of his sentence. Crouch's pale face turned crimson in record time.

"What?!" he yelled, slamming his fist down on his desk. Sirius and Remus sunk further into the cushion of their chairs, and Cornelius flinched at the sudden outburst. "Damn it, Fudge! Why didn't you tell that blasted Minister of Magical Concealment to stay out of this? We here have things under control in the Law Enforcement wing!"

"Yes, we are clearly aware of that, Crouch, seeing as you have told us incessantly day after day," Cornelius answered coolly, his bustling aura gone. Instead, a sense of taking charge was there.

"That's Mr. Crouch to you, Fudge, and don't you forget it. I am a Minister, and a Minister deserves respect from the lower classed workers," Crouch said. If looks could kill, Cornelius would have been dead six times before he hit the ground. But since looks can't kill, Cornelius simply looked at him with distaste.

"Yes sir," he said, but Sirius swore he heard him mutter 'but you're not _the_ Minister' under his breath. "But, I am here to fulfill my duty. And my duty is to bring these men under the custody of the Minister of Magical Concealment." Crouch looked like he was going to let another stream of interventions and insults come out, but Cornelius hastily continued. "We have permission from the Minister of Magic, sir, and that I dare say is enough to let you handle our own situations." A drastic moment of silence followed, but Crouch waved his hand impatiently.

"I have more important stuff to deal with anyway! Take them away, before I change my mind." Cornelius beckoned Sirius and Remus to follow him, and they did so eagerly. Anything to get away from the lunatic was welcome.

"Good way to handle Crouch, Mr. Fudge!" Sirius exclaimed, really impressed. Cornelius just nodded modestly.

"Thank you, he just throws empty threats. He'd never commit a crime if his life depended on it. It's all words. Anyway, I really just have to tell you that the Ministry will just pass on information to the Muggles and say that we captured you two. That way, they won't keep on chasing you…they'll just think you're safely stored away in a jail cell." Sirius and Remus sighed with relief. Thank God that was over! "The rest of the magical community will just be informed that it was all a mistake. It was only a few Muggles just fooling around. It was a lucky thing that the picture of you two wasn't high in quality. Anyhow, have a good day and stay out of trouble!" He strode off, leaving Sirius and Remus to high five each other in victory.

"Oh yes! We're not going to get murdered by Prongs and Lily!" Sirius sang. After getting Harry away from the secretary whom baby-sat him while they were in Crouch's office, the two of them left in high spirits.

****

Author's Note: Ah! The fic is almost finished, finally! Thanks for actually getting this far. Don't forget to review. Sorry about the delay in release, but FF.Net was down so I was unable to post this up. Also, a little hint of writer's block was with me…ahem. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter. Please leave your e-mail address if you would like to have personal updates on this story (if you have left it before, please leave it again, I lost all addresses. Sorry).


	11. Farewell

It was already noon by the time Sirius and Remus returned to the house. Apparently, Sirius had decided to turn on the old "Black charm" and flirt with the secretary. Remus had to practically drag him out of the building, because he was certain Crouch was going to burst out of his office in a fit of fury. Knowing him, he probably sensed that the two of them were still in the building.

When they reached the Potter's household, Sirius sighed contentedly, sinking into the sofa. "Ah! It's going to feel great when I'm back into the life of bachelorhood. In a few minutes time, Prongs and Lily will be back to take care of little Harry here," he said, gesturing to Harry who was playing with Remus on the living room floor.

Just then, two pops sounded and James and Lily were standing right by the fireplace in their living room. Both looked considerably tanned, and much more rested. Lily's green eyes sparkled in joy as she caught sight of her son, playing.

"Oh, Harry! How are you, baby? Did you miss Mummy?" she cooed, picking up and burying her head into his hair in a tight hug. James hugged his wife and Harry at the same time.

"I missed, you Harry. How did Uncles Padfoot and Moony treat you?" he questioned, turning to face his two best friends with suspicious eyes. Sirius and Remus smiled; James strode over to join them, as Lily was still hugging and kissing Harry in greeting. "How did it go, guys? Any trouble?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. If they told the whole story to James and Lily…well, they'd either freak out or laugh, because it was so overwrought. Instead, reaching a mutual agreement with looks, Sirius said, "No, not really. We had a little trouble with flyinganddroppingharrythemugglelawenforcersandtheministryofmagic, but that's all really!" Sirius said casually. James took no notice, because he was too busy holding his son, for Lily had joined the three of them with Harry as well.

"Oh really? That's nice," he replied. 

"Thanks so much for taking care of him, Sirius. Remus," she said, beaming. "Me and James had a marvelous time! We actually got some rest. And Harry looks great, he's never been happier!" She turned to look at her husband and her son. James was blowing onto Harry's stomach, making him laugh loudly. 

"Yeah, Harry was great. Just remind me to never have children," Remus said lightly. All of them laughed. "Well, I guess it's best that we leave, right Padfoot?" 

"I guess so. Wouldn't want to ruin Family Time," Sirius answered. Remus went over to where Harry was and gave him a kiss on the head.

"Okay, Harry. I'm going now, be good okay? I'll be seeing you around!" He stepped aside so Sirius could say goodbye as well.

"Bye, Harry. Don't traumatize your parents, because then we'd have to take care of you again and Lord knows how much my 21-year-old heart can take!" James and Lily were a little puzzled by this statement but let it slide off of their backs. Harry put out his arms to Sirius and babbled. Sirius was shocked but picked him up and hugged him. James, Remus and Lily noted how his eyes got a bit misty. "But really, it's not all bad taking care of you," Sirius added, his voice cracking. He made a swift movement of the arm across his face to wipe away the sentimental tears. "Hmm…got something in my eye."

The other three rolled their eyes, but just played along with Sirius' excuse.

"Okay, see you around, guys! Come over for drinks or something," James said to them as they headed out the door.

"We'll consider the offer," Remus said. "Bye!" The door shut and James and Lily were left alone with Harry.

"That was nice of them to take on responsibility with Harry. And to think that they managed to get through it, Harry unscarred! It's amazing!" Lily said. They made their way into the kitchen. "That's funny, do you know where the microwave is?"

James however, wasn't paying attention. "Hey look, honey. The headlines of both The Daily Prophet and the Muggle newspaper…"

"SIRIUS! REMUS!" the two voices synchronized. But with a pop and a revving of an engine, the two were gone!

_TA-DA! THE END!_

**Author's Note:** A bit short, but it's the end. The end, can you believe it? Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. You guys rock! Also, forgive me for the petty mistakes in my story…this story was not beta-read. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic, because I sure enjoyed writing it. It was all the positive reviews that motivated me. I'm going to miss Sirius and Remus now *sniff*. 

It's been forever for this final chapter…but thanks to all who were patient and kind. Also, to **Lotus who's review that said "Hurry up with the fricken chapter" got me to upload this. *lol* No hard feelings…J**

**Disclaimer:** Just to be safe…even though you sure as hell should know this, I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that you recognize from the series. 


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